I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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