so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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