Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
