it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
