just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize