Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
