I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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