Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
why is half of my head shaved?
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