He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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