I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
being pregnant is like rehab
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
