In the future we'll all be gay
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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