oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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