last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
