Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize