oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
