Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
