I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
