You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
