I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
