she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize