Little spoons don't ask big questions
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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