And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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