According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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