i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
