Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
