Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
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Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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