Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
