Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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