So drunk its hurt
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
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Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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