I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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