Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
