You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
