The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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