Welp...herpes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
