He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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