I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
