Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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