Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
