grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
