The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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