so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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