I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize