I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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