we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she smelled like a LAN party
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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