so explain again why im purple
no
Please, let me fuck your mom
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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