Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
