he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
