he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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