we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
