This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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