I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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