His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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