You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
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I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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