Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
