I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize