mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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