I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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