ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
