Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
