You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
