when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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