Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
