Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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