kristin has been a bad kristin
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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