She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
