i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
only if we run a train.
done.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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