So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
