I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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